Brothers 4 Change

Helping to make the world a "better place" has been a passion for as long as I can remember. I have been gifted with a keen sense of justice which results in my noticing and not wanting to tolerate injustice in any of its forms. At the same time I have a curiosity and love for people that allows me to understand our human foibles and how they can be used to provide the necessary experiences for growth. My work with men to end sexual assault is only one of many social justice activities that occupy my time.

One phrase I love is "peace in the world through inner peace." One must find a quiet place within from which we can be inspired and inspire others. This may require healing from difficult life circumstances, or taking advantage of beneficial ones. Change comes about through taking responsibility for what life has given us, which in my case has meant acknowledging the many privileges that I have and using them in a constructive manner. I also firmly believe in science and have been involved in the development of a number of innovative and effective program strategies. The desire for change must be coupled with intelligence about what brings about change.

Life keeps me motivated! There are so many blessings and challenges at the same time. I love a challenge and the opportunity to solve problems. I love the deep contact that can take place between human beings, and the excitement that can come from devoting oneself to something bigger. While social justice work can be discouraging and there are often setbacks, it is important to hold to a bigger picture based on idealism, faith in humanity, and faith in something more than ourselves. This perspective inspires me to keep focused on my work which involves helping men take responsibility for preventing sexual assault, teaching bystanders to intervene effectively, what it means to be a social justice ally, developing innovative strategies for reducing substance abuse and violence, and much more.

Take care of myself! Make sure that I have quiet time, time in nature, and learning to let go in a variety of ways. It is important to have perspective and not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. One can see the problems in life without being overwhelmed by them. Finally, deep nurturing relationships and exploration of the world's great spiritual traditions helps me stay sane.

There are so many. One is "you can't be part of the solution until you understand how you are part of the problem."

I don't think that I want to do anything else. However I would like the chance to slow down a bit, do more writing, and focus my attention on a few large projects rather than many small ones. And, I love international travel, which helps me see myself and the world in a different way.

Alan Berkowitz is an independent consultant who helps colleges, universities, public health agencies and communities design programs that address health and social justice issues. His expert opinion is frequently sought after by the federal government and professional organizations, and he is well-known for scholarship and innovative programs which address issues of substance abuse, sexual assault, gender, and diversity.

• Learn more about Dr. Berkowitz and his work at www.alanberkowitz.com
• E-mail: alan@fltg.net

I have responded to far too many instances of sexual violence in 30+ years of campus law enforcement where silence and acceptance of a high risk culture perpetuates violence against women (and men). Silence lends approval and the only way change can occur is to stand up, be heard and take action to make change.

In my past positions I empowered others by creating professional development and campus programming opportunities for awareness and education. I have been fortunate to direct a department where we could seek grants to train a law enforcement community and build bridges with other community services, and student organizations. Having been in the early stages of creating Sexual Assault Task Forces, Response Teams, and campus & community coalitions many opportunities evolved to break down barriers and make sexual assault an institutional issue while empowering people to take ownership of change.

"Endeavor to Persevere" — Chief Dan George

Jack Johnson — In Between Dreams

• The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
• Sexual Aggression Information
• Indiana Campus Sexual Assault Prevention Project
• Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc.

Once I got a handle on my own survival after being diagnosed with HIV as a kid, I decided as a young adult that it was stupid for other people to be needlessly infected as a result of misinformation or poor attitudes about sex. Also, as someone who is positive and happy, I try to make people who already infected feel empowered, that they can continue their lives and find love and happiness.

I share my personal story, how I keep my HIV negative partner, Gwenn, safe in our relationship. Together, we hope that by sharing the truths about our healthy relationship that others will reflect on their own behaviors and consider being safe and smart about sex.

The endless need for comprehensive sex education. We just came out of an eight-year globally funded abstinence campaign. There are lots of people trying to undo the damage, which is inspiring. I believe that human nature and a responsible approach to our sexuality can be taught, and that there is a vast audience that is willing to learn.

I rest easy! I nap all the time. And play lots of games. Sometimes I make up my rules... okay, most times I do. After 20 years of living with HIV, I've noticed my friends are less likely to "let" me win these days. Hence the necessity of the rule changing.

When life gives you AIDS- make lemonAIDS! Sarah Silverman says it, but my godfather, an AIDS activist from the 1980's, says that saying is as old as crabs.

I think the boxing world was denied a great champion when I was born with hemophilia. If I could do anything, I would get in the ring, take some punches and not die, and win a title.

Infected with HIV as a child through the contaminated blood products used to treat his hemophilia, Shawn learned early in life about discrimination. Within a month of testing positive for the virus, he was kicked out of the 6th grade. By all accounts, he wasn't expected to live five years. His freshman year of high school, he met his favorite band, Depeche Mode, albeit through the The Make-A-Wish Foundation. After beating the odds and graduating from high school, Shawn opened up about his life with HIV after a decade of silence by creating one of the first "poz blogs", humorously describing his life as a twenty-year old dating with HIV as a third wheel. He caught the attention of Poz magazine and was invited to the White House under the Clinton Administration on World AIDS Day, 1997.

Today Shawn has happily found his wife partner in life, Gwenn Barringer, and the two speak together as a couple, educating about how they keep Gwenn, who is HIV negative, safe in their relationship.

Since 1997, Shawn has penned a column for Poz Magazine, entitled "Positoid", a word he created for himself and others living with HIV. His first book, My Pet Virus: The True Story of a Rebel Without a Cure, was published by the Penguin Group in 2006. In his spare time, he fronts a synthpop trio, Synthetic Division, in his hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia.

www.shawnandgwenn.com
shawn@shawnandgwenn.com

After my sister was sexually assaulted in 1989, I discovered the legal definition of sexual assault was "sexual contact without CONSENT." As a college student in the dating world, the question suddenly facing me was, "who actually ASKs before they kiss someone or engage in sexual contact?" When both males and females told me no one was asking and everyone was just guessing, I knew we need to teach the importance of Asking First. After all, everyone deserves to have a choice BEFORE someone touches them in an intimate and/or sexual manner.

ENGAGE and LISTEN. As I am blessed to travel the world presenting the "Can I Kiss You?" program for students and our military, I always start by using humor to engage everyone in the audience about the aspects of dating and/or intimacy each person can relate to on a personal level. Once you have everyone laughing, you can confront the dangerous traditions they've been taught throughout their life concerning intimacy, consent, relationships, bystander intervention (especially concerning alcohol), and supporting sexual assault survivors.

The key is to always be listening to the audience throughout. Understand THEIR world and what challenges each of them face on a regular basis. By listening closely and considering their perspective, you can ask questions which directly relate to their decision-making process. You help them see their own misunderstandings and thus THEY want to create their own change!

LOTS keeps me motivated:

1. Survivors of sexual assault who say how much our program or our books meant to them personally in giving them a new perspective on their own strength and courage. Every time I meet a survivor, I am honored!
2. Students and our military men and women who share how they have used the skills obtained during the "Can I Kiss You?" presentation and how much it has helped them, their partners, and their friends.
3. Educators and SARC professionals who tell us about the changes they see in their schools and communities after bringing me to speak; using our posters around town; and/or reading our books.
4. Parents who email us about how their relationships with their teenagers have dramatically improved based on the "Help! My Teen Is Dating" DVD.
5. My FAMILY. As a society, we have sooo much more work to do and knowing my own children are growing up keeps me wanting to help make our world a safer place.
6. Cheri, my sister. Without Cheri and the strength she has always shown after her assault, I wouldn't be doing this work. She was my initial inspiration and continues to be!

HAVE FUN! Laugh every day. Take time to yourself. Eat smart. Exercise and know when to relax. NOTHING beats family time! Playing with my kids or cheering them on at an event is always the highlight of my day.

"The purpose of education is not knowledge but ACTION."
— Herbert Spencer.

Now go out and help people TAKE ACTION!!

Philanthropist who worked to choose the right agencies and organizations to receive funding to help end sexual violence; support survivors; and change society's current understanding of how a healthy and equal relationship is defined.

For more information about Mike and his work visit www.DateSafeProject.org - there you can discover how to stay in touch via FaceBook, Twitter, and YouTube.

I personally struggled with gender roles growing up male in a very conservative place and through my mother's and two friends' stories. With the help of two amazing mentors in college I came to see the tremendous amount of suffering that men cause in the lives of (themselves & other) men and women they love. By adhering to ideas of who and what men and women are that are harmful and archaic we all participate in oppression. I could not handle that idea and so I've chosen to work toward ending that oppression by challenging others (specifically men) to see human worth outside of the ability to fit in a box.

I start with challenging myself as often as possible to be a different kind of male person who doesn't necessarily fit into male stereotypes and to let this process be visible. While I am and do "manly" things, it begins to open a dialogue when I do or accept things traditional notions of manhood wouldn't. I have many formal and informal discussions with (primarily) students that often start with issues like consent and lead into deeper ones of shame, guilt, growing up male, identity, etc. Those "discussions" range from group conversations after a film, panel discussions, one on one personal interaction, fun events (rock climbing, backpacking) leadership development events (White Ribbon Campaign, Walk A Mile In Her Shoes, etc) with students, etc.

Tough since I have several!

"We aren't about judging men from wherever they are coming to this conversation -- lord knows it was only a few short weeks/months/years since any of us were sitting in very similar places -- really NOT wanting to hear whatever it is that "those feminists" have to say about these issues. And yet, here we are." —Rus Ervin Funk

I don't have one, but my current favorite is "My Enemies are Men Like Me" by Derek Webb... it helps remind me partly of how men are taught to see others, challenges me to envision a different manhood and helps remind me there are many that have no voice.

Our program's website is: www.plu.edu/~mav.

When I realized how important it was for men to join women in the fight to end sexual violence, I decided that I had to find a way to stay involved in this movement. By working together, I truly believe we can change the culture around us.

I believe one of the most successful ways to empower others and inspire them to join our cause, is to avoid being accusatory and focus on the good qualities in everyone. If you walk in to a room and treat men as potential rapists, you'll offend everyone and gain the support of no one. On the other hand, if you explain how these men have the amazing power to change the world around them, they will be much more likely to listen and search for ways to help.

One of my strongest motivations to continue this work is the other people who work along side me. I think that people who are drawn to manage, lower, and prevent sexual violence have a similar calling to serve. When I begin to encounter those moments of doubt or frustration, I can call on dozens of fellow activists who inspire me to jump right back into the fight.

Running is probably the most significant thing that I do just for me. If I go two or three days without a run, I get antsy and simply have go outside to crank out a few miles. I try to run a couple races every year and just completed my 10^th marathon... barely.

I have several, but here's one that helps keep me in perspective:
"Some day we'll laugh about this. Why wait?"
— Professor John Morreall

I would go back to New Zealand and travel to every corner of those two beautiful islands. Glacier hiking, surfing, skiing, bungy jumping, trail running, some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen... that place has everything.

Mallory is originally from southeastern Ohio and graduated from the College of William and Mary in 2004 where he received a Bachelor's of Science in Physics and a minor in music. During his last two years in college, John was a founding member of an all-male sexual assault prevention peer education group called One-In-Four. Upon graduating, John worked professionally for One-In-Four as a member of the inaugural National Peer Education team where he traveled to more than 40 different universities in an RV giving presentations to college students about sexual assault prevention. John then began performing with Catharsis Productions, a Chicago-based improvisational comedy troupe that uses comedy to strategically address the issue of sexual assault and dating violence. John continues to perform with Catharsis on college campuses, at national conferences, and military bases across the country and abroad. He also volunteers with a non-profit called the Sold Project that works to end child prostitution, volunteers with the DC Rape Crisis Center, and serves as an educational consultant for Men Can Stop Rape. John lives in Washington DC where he enjoys marathon running, hang gliding, and cheering for DC United.

Catharsis Productions www.catharsisproductions.com
Men Can Stop Rape www.mencanstoprape.org
One In Four www.oneinfourusa.org
The Sold Project thesoldproject.com
DC Rape Crisis Center www.dcrcc.org